I talk about my faults like they’re awards I got in high school because sometimes I feel like I have nothing else interesting to say.
I have a need for people’s attention and my frequent pity parties are how I get it.
I have these scars on my body that are like trophies of all the battles I’ve won. I think showing these to people will make them like me – or at least pity me enough to pretend to like me.
For over nine months now I have been in a romantic relationship with someone who struggles with mental illness. She has also been in a relationship with someone who deals with mental illness – myself. Through this, I have started learning what it means to truly love someone who struggles with this, as well as what it means to truly be loved with a mental illness.
I’m sorry for punching my little brother when he got on my nerves when we were younger.
I’m sorry for the times my sister took the blame for things so that I wouldn’t get in trouble.
I’m sorry for talking too much and talking too loud.
I really hate how easily I get stuck in my own mind. It literally takes almost nothing to send me down a spiral that doesn’t seem to have an end.
I don’t know how to explain that to people.
I don’t know how to explain that I say “I’m sorry” a lot because I’m really just apologetic for my own existence.
I hate that I still
get crippled when I see you.
Why does this happen?